First Few Days in Ukraine

I have been updating our trip on facebook but knew some of you would appreciate details.  We met Brandy Torvinen in Atlanta.  She had to come to the US Embassy in Kyiv to file some paperwork so we decided to fly together.  We were all boarded on the plane to Paris when someone smelled smoke and after some investigation, it was decided that we would change planes.  All that resulted in a 3 hour delay.  We only had an hour and half layover in Paris so we obviously missed our connecting flight.

I knew it was a possibility that we would not be able to get a new flight until the following day, causing us to miss our SDA appointment but was still at peace that everything would be OK.  God is certainly in control.  I rejoiced when they were able to put us on a flight the same day, landing in Kyiv at 5:30 pm, as opposed to our original time of 11:30 am.  Our luggage was not so lucky.

Brandy's luggage was available 2 hours before she had to get on a train last night.  Apparently, ours will be available 2 hours before we have to get on a plane tonight to travel to Lugansk to see our 3 kiddos.  We will pick up our referral at 4:00; head out to the airport where our luggage is supposed to arrive at 5:30.  We will pick it up and hopefully be at the other airport by 7:00 for our 8:00 flight.  Whew!

None of that really matters as much as the fact that at 4:00 we will pick up our referral from the SDA.  We had an interesting appointment yesterday.  This is our 4th time to go through this process.  This time was much more casual. No questions were asked of us except "Who do you want to adopt?"  We told her, she pulled their files, phone calls were made and we left.  I absolutely loved the older pics of my children that were in the files.  I initially posted them on facebook just wanting to share their beauty.  But then later took the photos down, after realizing my kids might not feel they were so beautiful, having been taken at such a traumatic time in their lives.

After we left the SDA, we ate pizza across from the SDA; took Brandy to the Embassy; exchanged money; bought Brandy a phone; had dinner with Zhenya and Nazar and had a wonderful evening.  (Zhenya is our son, Vitalik's, brother and Nazar is a friend/translator that we met this summer at Camp Friendship).  Its cold here but not TOO cold and a walking tour of the city was perfect.

We slept in this morning; Sasha will pick us up at 3:00 and our whirlwind of activity will begin.  Sasha Iakubenko has been facilitating our adoptions for 5 years.  He is a true friend.  He moved to Poland this year but was willing to come back to Kyiv to hep us begin our process. Anton Marchenko will finish up the process with us in Lugansk.  Its hard to believe that we first met Anton 5 years ago when we were adopting Roman and he was working as in interpreter for a missionary leading Camp Friendship.  We will land in Lugansk tonight a little after 10:00, where Anton will meet us.  We will spend the night at the Hotel Lugansk and begin our paperwork first thing in the morning.  We have stayed at Hotel Lugansk in the past and, though it is nice, it certainly can't beat our current accommodations.  We have been staying with Kyiv with Dr. Jim and Marianna Peipon who lead Ukraine Medical Outreach.  We have enjoyed getting to spend time with them this trip.

And that, my friends, is how are trip has begun.  Perfectly.

No Complaints From Me

Moments drag by because in each one, I am longing for 3 blonde Ukrainians to be by my side.  And yet, as I rush around trying to accomplish all that needs to be done before we leave, I find that the time has flown by.  In five days, we will be on a plane over the Atlantic.  I have made that flight many times:  for adoption, for mission work, for fun.  But each time, there is anticipation,  excitement, and gratefulness.

Trips to Ukraine are never, ever boring; no matter the reason you are going.  And when its to follow the desires that God has put in your heart to care for orphans, there is such peace and satisfaction in knowing you are in His will.  And yet, as I look back, I realize that often when I have traveled there, I have found my grateful spirit invaded by a complaining one.  I have determined that this trip, by God's grace, no complaining word will pass through my lips.

Now, don't get me wrong.  My flesh will not be happy if there are delays.  You won't see me dancing in the streets if for some reason I have to spend Thanksgiving in Ukraine.  If things don't go according to my carefully planned out itinerary, I might cry, grit my teeth, or otherwise feel annoyed, but I resolve not to complain.  I resolve to seek the joy of the Lord in the midst of any hardship.  Why?

Because the Israelites longed for freedom, then complained when they got it.  The Israelites were promised a land flowing with milk and honey, then begged to go back to a land of bondage.  And I don't want to be like the Israelites. God has blessed me beyond what I could ever have hoped or dreamed.  I was dead and he brought me to life.  I was a sinner on the road to hell and He pursued me, called me his own, set me free from the life I would have chosen for myself.  And now He has given me the opportunity to live out the redeeming love He has bestowed upon me.  What, pray tell, could I ever have to complain about?!

From the moment I left Ukraine in August until now, I have longed to return.  I just want my children with me.  My home is incomplete without them. It is so much like being 9 months pregnant.   Can you imagine going into labor, getting to the hospital, finally getting to hold your new baby then complaining about your nurses and doctors, your bed, your room, your food?!  Of course not!  Nothing matters in those moments except that you now get to hold that precious baby you have waited and longed for.  And in a few days when I get to Ukraine, nothing will matter to me except that when I return, there will be 3 precious children by my side; pursued, called, and set free.  And their last names will be Davie.

Do all things without grumbling or complaining, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world.  Phil 2:14-15

You are Wanted

Three weeks from today, we will leave for Ukraine and make these 3 children forever part of the Davie adventure.  Today one is them has a birthday and I hope and pray he knows how very much he is wanted.  Not only by this family, but by the God who made him.  Happy Birthday, Sasha.

My Oldest Blessings

I was thinking of the name of my blog.  The DAVIE Adventure.  And I realize I blog mostly about Ukrainian adoption.  And so I just wanted to share some of the adventures of my oldest kids.  Luke had his professional debut this year in the outdoor nationals.  We were quite proud.

Our oldest, Colton, is having quite a successful career as a cinematographer in Hollywood.  Here is a link to his website:  http://coltondavie.com/   In addition, he has taken up BMX and raced his first national today.  

Alexandra has transferred to Samford University; to be closer to home and her new siblings; to be closer to her church family; to help with Grace to Ukraine; to study Psychology.  I am happy to have her in Birmingham.  She continues with her photography business, in addition to all the other things that she does. 

Each of our oldest children are engaged in their own forms of adventurous living.  I love them all dearly and know that God has sovereignly placed them in our family as well.  They all have made sacrifices as we have grown from a family of 5 to a family of 12.  I thank God for them and love to watch their lives unfold.  

The Nuts and Bolts of Adoption from Ukraine

So this blogpost is for all you newbies out there who may be wandering about the process of adopting from Ukraine.  You can do a google search and get loads of info on this topic.  So please do not consider this some sort of official standard.  I want to speak from my experience; not from any sort of legal standpoint.  My experience includes adopting a 10 year old boy and 15 year old boy from 2 different regions in July 2008; adopting a 16 year old girl in February 2010; and an SDA appointment for September, asking for permission to adopt a sibling group of teens aged 13-17. 

Ukraine is not part of the Hague Convention, which means you do not have to use an adoption agency.  Agencies do not have lists of children available for adoption in Ukraine to match you with.  Instead, you go to the SDA, a government agency in Ukraine, and ask permission to adopt one of their children.  ( SDA stood for something at one time.  The name has changed to Department for Family and Children and some have begun referring to it as the DFC. I will stick with SDA for now). Children must be at least 5 years old before they are available for intercountry adoption.   Older children, sibling groups and children with special needs are readily available.  You can go to Ukraine blind or you can ask permission to adopt a specific child you have met through hosting or some other avenue.  Just know that no one (not a facilitator, not a hosting organization, not the SDA) can "hold" a child for you at any time.  Just because you have hosted or asked permission to adopt a certain child, there is no guarantee that child is or will be available when you get to Ukraine.  In fact, there is no guarantee that child is even registered with the SDA unless you go through official channels to obtain this information.  

Before you can go to the SDA and ask for permission to adopt, you will spend 3-6 months preparing what is known as your dossier.  This, first and foremost, includes your homestudy.  So your first step in adopting from Ukraine is hiring a social worker who preferably has experience in preparing homestudies for Ukraine, as it has specific requirements unique to Ukraine.  Talk to people who have adopted from Ukraine.  Join facebook pages and yahoo groups.  Hire your social worker and get to work.  (beginning July 2014, your social worker will have to be part of a Hague-accredited agency.) It is wise to ask your social worker to approve you for more children than you think you want to adopt as there have been numerous instances where families get to the SDA and find out that there is a sibling of a child they are seeking to adopt.  

In addition to your homestudy, you will have a stack of documents that have to be notarized and apostilled.   These include things like criminal background checks, marriage certificates, medical exams and proofs of income.  You can obtain this list from other adoptive parents or start your search here http://ukraine.usembassy.gov/adopt-documents.html. 

As you talk to other adoptive parents, you are going to be hearing a lot about their “facilitator”.  Everybody who adopts from Ukraine has one.  He or she is the person in Ukraine whom you pay to translate your dossier, act on your behalf during the adoption process, and take care of you during your stay there.  Some have loved their facilitator.  Some have hated him.  But everyone has strong opinions about him.  Next to choosing your child, this is the most important decision you make when adopting from Ukraine.  You will have a miserable or happy experience depending on your relationship with your facilitator.  There is more to facilitating than getting the job done.  Most will do that. But there are many other factors to consider and I would talk to as many people as possible about their facilitator before choosing.  Once your facilitator is chosen, he or she can guide you in compiling your dossier. One note of caution, a hosting program cannot force you to use their facilitator.  You can use him or her.  And often it is wise.  But if a hosting organization tells you that you MUST use their facilitator, they are acting unethically.  Likewise, be cautious of anyone in a hosting organization that profits from your adoption.  If you need help in compiling your dossier, above and beyond what your facilitator can provide, hire an agency who is not involved in introducing you to specific children.  Or better yet, talk to the many families who have gone before you.  Most will offer you free advise.  A red flag should go up if a hosting organization introduces you to a child then offers to help you compile your dossier for a fee.  

The situation is Ukraine is constantly in flux as regards the adoption timeframe.  We started our homestudy in March.  Based upon how things were going at the time, I thought we would have an appointment with the SDA in Ukraine in late August.  Even after we submitted our dossier to the SDA July 9^th,  I still felt confident about that. However, things have slowed down in Ukraine right now.  The SDA says this is due to summer vacations and just getting behind.  Whatever the case, it is late August and we just received notice of our appointment date.  Our dossier was “approved” on August 1^st.  In the past, they would have given us an appointment date on the same day.  Instead, 3 weeks later, we learned that our appointment will be on September 30^th.  That means that currently, there is a lapse of 3 months from submittal to appointment.

This often-changing nature of the process in Ukraine is the kind of thing that can lead some people away from adopting from there.  However, in spite of delays, changes in procedure and even occasional shut-downs, I have found Ukraine to be a very fair and straightforward country from which to adopt.  It is not America.  And you can’t go into Ukraine, or any other foreign country for that matter, expecting their government and judicial system to operate as ours; nor can you march over there demanding rights that maybe you are used to.  But if you are patient, willing to submit to their way of doing things, are willing to adopt older or special needs children, and are at least a tad adventurous, you really can’t go wrong with this beautiful country and its beautiful children.   

The Little Blogger that Could

We adopted the first time in 2007.  I blogged every little detail.  Over the years, with each additional child, the blogs got less detailed and less frequent.  Back then it seemed so new and exciting and I thought everybody would be so interested in the process.  I decided today that it only seems like old-hat to me; that there are new friends and acquaintances who are interested in the details of adoption.  Families who are just now thinking of adopting from Ukraine need to know how easy/frustrating/rewarding it can be.  Families currently in the process might want to know what to expect/when to expect/how much to expect.  Families arriving home should know if what they are feeling/experiencing/regretting is normal.  And besides all that, there are 3 precious children about to join my family and I don't want them to ever think they were not worthy of blogspot.  And so I undertake to blog again.  Details.  As much as I can stand, being the big picture person that I am.  Stay tuned.  

Our Ukrainian Adventures Continue

Hard to believe but we are adopting again.  We met Lena in the summer of 2012.  We met her brother Sasha in October.  We did not meet her bother Alosha until July 2013.  But they will soon become a part of our family.  We began our paperwork in April.  Our dossier was submitted July 9th and we plan to travel to Ukraine in September.  Lena will be 13, Sasha 15 and Alosha 17 when they become Davies.   I can't wait.